I’ve kind of become used to my life as Jes — writing esoteric articles, chatting in person and online with like-minded souls, having telepathic conversations with Asher about other dimensions, and promoting the book I wrote about this ‘secret life’ of mine.
There are times, though, when that other life — the Not-Jes one with Not-likeminded family members and friends — comes and taps me on the shoulder. That’s what’s been happening for a few days.
Suddenly the cottage becomes a holiday home to my child, my child’s partner, and their four children.
My child says, nonchalantly, “Oh yes, you’ve done a book. I’d forgotten.”
The partner starts to ask me about it, while my child shoots him a ‘don’t get her started’ look.
We tramp the tourist sites together. Most of those are spiritual centres, steeped in myth and legend; I live in that sort of place. The partner embraces it and heads off to test out his new dowsing rods. His teenage kids do likewise. They wander into town to have tarot readings and auras photographed.
My child steers my grandchildren toward charity shops and toyshops.
I stand uncertainly between two worlds and try to stick to being Mum and Grandma. I love them madly. I listen to tales of school trips and camping expeditions. I read bedtime stories and cook huge meals. I resist the urge to talk about what I’ve been doing lately.
I think I managed, on the whole. True, I did get excited about a step-grandchild’s gloriously violet aura photo and led them all into some of the better crystal shops, but by and large I stayed as close to my child’s idea of normal as I could.
Come the evenings, my mind was far too addled and earthbound to reach up to connect with Asher’s. Last night, after I’d waved the family off on their long journey home, he reached down to me just enough to suggest I should lay down and sleep while he sent energy.
My dreams were wonderful and filled with healing. Some smiling shamanic figure dressed in red and gold danced around me as I lay there, feeling my energies return. I woke with the family visit a happy but rather distant memory, and settled back to my kind of normal.